It also precludes an understanding of heterogeneity within the Asian race, and discounts the potential positive benefits dating an Asian man can bring to a relationship. Like my mother, I am resilient and I am a go-getter. And I can't help but wonder how many decades it will take before it's no longer an issue for expats in China. There was a brief time when I tried combing these forums in search of discussions about dating Chinese men, hoping to gain some insights, but I soon gave that up. Yet a decade and a half later, I'm still pondering this issue. Has that affected your dating life? And sometimes, their dislike was just shocking. These interviews have been edited for clarity and length.
How could these women just write off all Chinese men as undateable? The woman who wrote that post never specifically said any of these things about local men in China, but she didn't have to. He even watched The Bridges of Madison County with me -- one of the weepiest chick flicks ever made -- and actually shed a few tears when it ended. Has that affected your dating life? In a study conducted by Columbia University, researchers surveyed more than students during speed dating sessions. And I as I came to know him better, he didn't disappoint me. It's a troubling problem, one that even gets me and my husband down. As we stopped on the corner of a side street and watched the mostly-male populous pedaling past us through the intersection, she grimaced. Unless they were white; oddly, my mom thought that was more palatable because she was fed this idea that white equals success. Negative impressions ultimately dominated as the women criticized Chinese men as "not so gentlemanly," "poor physique, not enough exercise," "no personality, lacking unique opinions," even condemning them on perceived personal hygiene problems. Whenever someone dismisses China's entire male population as undateable, they're essentially denying that diversity. One of my biggest gripes with the fetishization of Asian women is that it reduces us to purely physical objects, associated with being docile and obedient. How did your parents respond to you being a lesbian? And believe me, there is incredible diversity when you actually open your eyes and your heart to the possibility. In September -- my first month in China -- I had a huge crush on a guy. Whether in forums or blogs, the negative online discourse about Chinese men is consistent with Psychologist Zhang Jiehai's findings from surveys on "Chinese Men in the Eyes of Western Women" as reported by China's Xinhua News Agency in I provided an English translation on my blog. It became a source of anxiety. I thought that my chances of finding another guy were much lower, so I convinced myself that I needed this relationship more than my partner. She's a straight woman living in Austin, Texas. This Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences professor surveyed over Western women from diverse countries including France, Germany and the USA via questionnaires, and then interviewed over 20 of them in a focus group in Shanghai. The question haunted me as I pondered my crush on Tian. The experience of being in a foreign country and culture somehow liberated us from our usual American expectations for men and dating itself. And I can't help but wonder how many decades it will take before it's no longer an issue for expats in China. There's the fun-loving fellow from Xi'an who described himself as a "foreign student turned party boy," the beefcake husband from Hebei she considered "China's answer to Arnold Schwarzenegger," the Shanghai-based writer from Anhui who studied English literature and mused about his unforgettable romances with black women in the US. What have your experiences with interracial dating been like? I didn't know much about China back then -- a time when I could only communicate in Mandarin with a dictionary and lots of patience, and where my entire cultural knowledge was amassed from the library books on China I borrowed during the summer. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
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