To your mild surprise she begins this session by breaking her characteristic Therapist's Silence and begins speaking up right away: You leave a few apologetic and loving texts to your partner, and you feel stressed out and forgotten when you don't receive a reply. Melville in your sessions, and are surprised to find that what you feel more than anything is an overwhelming lack of feeling towards any of it, and she seems very concerned about how far your anhedonia seems to have progressed. You both are feeling emotionally exhausted and the future of the relationship is uncertain. You cycle through a few different games, but tonight everything seems either too tedious or too aggravating for you to play for more than a few minutes.
While you are always appreciative of your partner's efforts to take your feelings into account and help make sure you're socially comfortable, you sincerely worry that you're holding her back from enjoying a more fulfilling relationship. Tell them about the exciting new job you're gunning for. Don't say anything; you're already worried about her being upset with you. Lie Tell them what they want to hear: Everyone you've caught up with seems so much happier than you, like they've got their lives all figured out, and you've kind of been feeling like a failure by comparison. You feel more than ever like a burden or a ward to her, and it's virtually impossible for you to see what value you could possibly offer to her in return. It's one thing for you to detail how you feel sometimes, and for her to see it pop up occasionally. Go to the therapist's office. I just hope you feel better soon, I really miss you. Your calm persists as you arrive back home and go through the motions of getting ready for bed, and you're able to sleep with relative ease that night. Your frequent bouts of both ambivalence and panic have caused you to flake out on more and more engagements, and your shame at your own situation keeps you from ever talking to your friends about it for fear that the "real you" would be repulsive to them. Whenever bumping into them, the usual short versions of what you've done since graduating are exchanged. You are determined to take your life back. It never resolves, nothing new is ever said, and rarely do you feel reassured by it. It's an expression you're not unfamiliar with, it's one you've seen flash across her face many times during your time together. You've lost your nerve entirely. Do you lie or not? Alex - She's your girlfriend. In spite of her obvious frustration, you can't seem to leave your comfort zone and set aside your own self loathing long enough to make a concerted effort to make things better, and you find yourselves having the same conversation on a near weekly basis. Even if you had managed to, you've largely lost interest in what you thought you wanted to do growing up. A few of your online friends invite you to play a game with them, but the prospect of having to talk, let alone cooperate with other people seems incredibly unpleasant. Tell Alex how important she is to you and enjoy your evening. This whole therapy thing has always overwhelmed you, and this is the final straw. In your mind, it was always her that left you, not the other way around. You feel bad about effectively forcing the two of you to stay in tonight, again.
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