They feel closer to their partner. Because of these feelings, women are often afraid of standing out from their peers as mature, sexual women. When women take on these attitudes, they tend to see sex as forbidden, shameful and bad. When women try to hold back their sad feelings, they become cut off from themselves, both emotionally and physically, and removed from the sexual interaction. Some used it as a way of ending a sexual encounter they felt was dragging on; others faked to suppress feelings of shame over their seeming inability to orgasm with a partner.
In addition, some religions, especially rigid belief systems, perceive sex as an expression of the baser or sinful nature of human beings. The famed Kinsey Institute's website, for example, refers visitors looking for more information on orgasm to a study from the s that found women are far more likely to always or almost always orgasm when they masturbate than when they have sex with a partner. Many women whom Anderson has seen in her clinical work report that they find it emotionally challenging to let go with a partner; to be vulnerable, playful and creative; and to feel comfortable with how their body looks from the many angles women move in and out of during sex -- all of which can be essential to having an orgasm, she said. Some used it as a way of ending a sexual encounter they felt was dragging on; others faked to suppress feelings of shame over their seeming inability to orgasm with a partner. She's had no more than four in the ensuing years, though they have sex three to five days a week. That is just cruel and mean! If they feel critical about their body image in general, it is more difficult for them to fully enjoy sex. Or they may have negative thoughts about their genitals. In particular, the genital area becomes imbued with an anal connotation and is confused with excretory functions. Perceiving sex as immoral or bad: Many women have acquired distorted views about sex early in life during the process of socialization. He just kind of went, 'Well, okay, you seem fine, so I'm not going to try any harder. Alyssum, 26, has been with her boyfriend for three years and though she has no problems orgasming when she masturbates two or three times a week, she has never climaxed with him -- or with any of her five sexual partners past or present. This can show up in an overall fear of losing control or in more specific fears, such as fears of making noise or moving, or even fears of urinating or defecating when letting go. Fear of being vulnerable: Now, Lisa simply fakes orgasms with her husband and masturbates in private, several times a week -- climaxing every time, she said. In some cases, this is caused by illness, gynecological conditions or medications. Control is related to existential issues of life and death. Fear of arousing repressed memories of abuse and trauma: Fear of loss of control: In some instances, women who don't climax with their partners turn to regularly faking orgasms -- for many reasons. The Arkansas native thought their early sex life "was the greatest thing. When women try to hold back their sad feelings, they become cut off from themselves, both emotionally and physically, and removed from the sexual interaction. She was among several women who candidly discussed with The Huffington Post their experiences in committed, sexually active, but orgasm-less relationships. The list is not meant to exhaust all possible psychological issues; however, in our clinical experience, we have found these to be fundamental and understanding them to be useful in helping women achieve richer, more satisfying sexual lives. For women who were mistreated or rejected early in life and feel unlovable, the contrast of being loved, pleasured, and sexually fulfilled brings out deep and painful emotional responses.
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